How Much is Too Much?

Along with just about everyone else, I've been following all the drama involving Charlie Sheen, his kids, his TV show, his ex-wife, and of course, his "Goddesses". What a mess. It probably goes without saying that the only people I feel sorry for in this situation are his children, because even at just two-years-old children can understand a situation much more than we realize. I really hope they are given some sort of protective custody far, far away from both their parents.

That said, the inundation of stories about Sheen has inspired two main thoughts — at what point should our private lives become public? And why do we value the revelation of private information?

In all this discussion about Sheen, I checked out his Twitter page and saw among his crazy rants about "winning" and tiger blood" that within 26 hours he had one million followers. That's right, one million followers paying attention to what this drug-addicted, alcoholic, psychotic, and just all-around screwed up "unemployed winner" had to say. I even clicked on one of his Twitpics with the 22-year-old Goddess he currently lives with, and unfortunately wasn't surprised to see all the comments were about how Charlie is indeed winning, and the haters are just jealous, and that the Goddess had better boobs than Denise Richards.

When I envisioned myself entirely losing faith in humanity I didn't think it would happen a) in a span of 90 seconds b) at just 24-years-old, but if I may add 2 years older than a Goddess, and c) as a direct result of Charlie Sheen.

With the expansion of social media and outlets like Twitter and Facebook, I find myself often asking how much is too much? Does privacy exist at all anymore, and is there any integrity in leaving some things to yourself? Even on a smaller scale, I have Facebook friends constantly updating their every move — "Just woke up, soooo tired," "Going to take a shower," "Working until 3. Hate my boss tho"... And so on, and so forth. There is a compulsive need to share everything going on in one's life, and it really bothers me. And much like the positive reinforcement given to Charlie, for one reason or another there are those people who will "like" Facebook posts about things that just shouldn't be shared.

In the end, I want to know how much is too much? It's a cyclical process — share, react, share, react. But it seems like we just share more and more, and react stronger and stronger. I don't see how this process could possibly reverse itself since it only becomes more shocking.

A note to end on: Yes, I do appreciate the irony that I will now be posting this on my Facebook and Twitter accounts, in case you were wondering.

Running Out of Resources

First I would like to apologize for my delay in writing. If you follow my blog, you know it's one of my 11 goals in 2011 to update weekly, and clearly I have already broken this goal. (Amanda and Marissa may be happy though, because this does mean that at least one round of drinks is on me at the end of the year.) That said, I'm not discounting this goal, and I still want to update weekly for the rest of the year. I feel, quite often, like grad school has swallowed me whole, but I'm surviving and enjoying it, I swear! It's just far more work than I had ever anticipated.

Well tomorrow is officially Marine Corps Marathon registration day, and I am very excited. This will be my second experience with 26.2 miles, and I am thinking it may even be better than my first. Training for Philly was certainly a challenge — blood, sweat, and tears all included — and I expect MCM to top my experience, since it is, after all, the People's Marathon. MCM is the 4th largest marathon in the country, with over 30,000 runners. Plus, I'll have the benefit of training in the area since I live close to the course. This year I will be running with friends and family, making it that much better.

Since my time off from Philly, I've had some time to reflect on how much I've grown to love running. Despite the challenge of working and going to school full time, I've been able to fit running into my schedule (although not as much as I'd like). After a great run, I feel so much more focused than I did beforehand. I love it.

Which is why I've been following a recent story from University of Delaware, my alma mater, about the cutting of the men's cross country team in the name of Title IX. Starting this fall, the team will now be considered a club sport, not varsity. Title IX, most famously known for promoting women's equality in sports, includes a standards that requires varsity sports to offer funding in proportion to the number of male and female students. The university is using this reason to cut the cross country team, and to no longer allow runners to compete at a varsity level, according the university newspaper, The Review.

As I started to read further into this story, I was interested in why it was the cross country program, whose indoor team was also made a club sport in 2008, that is being bullied by Title IX. As a student at Delaware, our football team was the golden standard of sports, despite the fact that it is Division I-AA, and not even Division I. Our basketball team has bordered on atrocious since before I was even on campus, and I still can't recall ever talking to a person who actually attended a game. Jeff Pearlman's Sports Illustrated column cites some of the numbers regarding the football team: 103 total members on the roster, four quarterbacks, 10 running backs, 14 wide receivers, 16 defensive backs, and four kickers. Yes, four kickers. And amazingly, it is the 12-person total roster, with a budget of $20,000 and no scholarships that is cut. Pearlman also cites that the attendance at Delaware Stadium for the I-AA semifinals, in which Delaware played, was only 10,317 — in a stadium that can fill up to 22,000. Football isn't a great "money-maker" for the university, and neither is basketball — arguably the two most popular college sports. So what is the purpose of cutting an entire program of one of the least expensive sports, when the larger, and over-rated programs suffer no consequences?

I wonder if in the the future this will come back to hurt the university. There will be less interest among students as they no longer have an option to run at the varsity level. It's possible that other students may not consider Delaware as a formidable option because the sport they love may run the risk of being cut as well.

As a woman, I understand the reasoning for Title IX, and I am grateful for laws that do promote equality. Women's sports are important. But as a runner, I have serious qualms with the idea to cut cross country. Why couldn't the football team scale back its roster? No, running is not the most exciting or the flashiest sport — but those who do it are incredibly dedicated and do have a deep love for just getting outside and moving. Mostly, I feel for the students who came to Delaware to be a part of a great program, only to lose the opportunity to do so. It may be too late for the men's cross country team, but I do hope that in the future the university finds a better way to enact the guidelines of Title IX.

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Update: Is it May Yet?

I'd like to start off by apologizing for my delay in writing. Who would have thought going to grad school full time and working 34 hours per week would be so time consuming?

Anyway, January is officially over which means that I should have made exactly one month's progress on my 11 in '11 list. I'm not sure how you'd measure such a thing, but I think an update should be sufficient.

Already, 2011 has brought a few changes into my life and I think that for the most part they have been positive. As I mentioned earlier, I started grad school -- although started is very much an accurate term for what I've done, since thanks to the snow, two of my classes were canceled during the first week. However, I'm still seeing how much work school will be throughout the next few years. As hard as I worked, and as much as I read as an undergrad, I don't think my experiences compare significantly to what I have to do now. It's amazing how much time it takes to process the material and make progress through my assignments. On the bright side, I do like what I'm doing and I am interested in what I'm learning. I also feel much more prepared going into grad school than I did transitioning from high school to college. I know the effort these classes take, and what professors expect from students. My goal of a 3.7 GPA is still a long ways away (where are you May?) but I'm doing everything I can now to get there.

My blog dedication has overall been pretty good -- right? I've bene updating weekly, with the exception of last week. But I'm going to try my best to update twice this week to make up for it. Like I said, grad school completely steals any moments of free time I may have, and combined with half marathon training, even sleep feels like its become optional. But, my blog posts this month have had some of the highest numbers of hits I have ever had. So I'll keep writing as long as you keep reading.

Before the year even started, I began reading Time Magazine's list of the 100 greatest novels ever written. The first book on the list, The Adventures of Augie March was so boring that I simply had to put it aside for the time being, which I never like to do. But don't worry! I promise to overcome my boredom and cross Augie of the list even if it's the only thing I do this year. I'm determined... just not right now. Since it was before the year started when I began and quite Augie, it doesn't really count yet. I'll see him again in the spring.

And it actually ends up being quite perfect because I'll have plenty of time for reading this spring, since -- wait for it, wait for it -- I'll be spending a lot of time on the plane because I booked my trip to Europe! I am officially traveling through Europe, visiting Paris, Rome, Florence and Barcelona after my classes end. I'm so excited for this trip, and it is definitely the light at the end of the tunnel right now. I think it's going to be an amazing experience. It's always a great feeling to say you will do something for a long time, and then to actually act upon it. So until then, I'm counting the days until I'm standing next to the Eiffel Tower.

So there you have it. My 11 in '11 so far. I hope you're enjoying your 2011 as much as I am.

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Less Than Perfect

Throughout most of my life, I considered myself to be a perfectionist. For as long as I can remember, I would do anything and everything I could to be as perfect as possible. My best was never enough, and I was consistently my own worst critic.

Case in point --I remember in first grade, the one time I ever got in trouble at school. We had a point system consisting of star stickers, and when you reached a certain number of "lost stars" you would get a phone call home to discuss bad behavior. One day, I came in late from recess -- a complete accident -- and I was forced to forfeit a star. I cried my eyes out. And I did get a call home, because the teacher was worried about how hard I took the "lost star". I was borderline traumatized over the idea that I wasn't the best student in the class for that single hour. This idea carried over into my teenage years and into my adult life. Whenever anything went wrong I would wonder what was wrong with me. I wanted control over situations to know that I could accomplish perfection.

This has been something very difficult for me to come to terms with. There have been many situations in my life in which I have had no control, but I have done the best I can to try to achieve perfection within them. Any time I failed, I blamed myself. A lot of areas in my life have been affected by this need to control everything, ranging from my personal relationships to my school work to my jobs.

I graduated college in 2009, in one of the worst economies on record for new graduates. I had a degree in English with a concentration in journalism, one of the industries hit hardest by the ailing economy. After my internship with CBS News, in which my supervisor reviewed me as the "best intern we have ever had," CBS laid off practically the entire department. I was unemployed with thousands of 20-somethings, and forced to move back home and tirelessly send out hundreds of resumes only to hear no response.

This experience was difficult. I wanted answers, and I wanted reasons why I was getting so few , interviews and barely any offers. I had worked hard, I went to a good school, and I had great experiences for a 22-year-old recent graduate. I blamed myself for being unable to find employment. I started to believe I wasn't good enough for certain life paths (for lack of a better term) and I let a lot of areas of my life suffer because of this feeling of unfulfilled need to be perfect.

Now that I have been living in DC for approximately six months, I realize how skewed my thinking was for most of my life. It is true that no one is perfect. But it is true that anyone can reach success and do great things. I owe much of this realization to my time of uncertainty after college. After only knowing school for 17 years of my life, it was hard to figure out who I am and what I want to be. To be honest, I'm still not sure I know. But I'm ok with that.

I start graduate school this week, and I'm really looking forward to -- as I look to put it -- investing in my future. I know there's no guarantees that this is the right path for me, or that I will be able to find a job in six years when I have completed my Phd. And of course the "investment in my future" (better known to most of the world as debt) isn't ideal. But I'm realizing that I like the unknown, and the idea that I have so much time to try new things, even if that includes failing a few times along the way. Life isn't about being perfect.

Shortly before I graduated from school, my brother showed me this clip on YouTube. It's Steve Jobs', the CEO of Apple, commencement speech at Stanford University in 2005. I still think about it today, and if you have time, it is truly worth watching. Enjoy!


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Pointing Fingers

Along with the rest of the country, I've been following the Tucson shootings that happened on Saturday in Arizona during a meet and greet with Representative Gabrielle Giffords. Giffords, who was shot in the brain, has remained in intensive care, while others, including 9-year-old Christina-Taylor Green, lost their lives. As the tragedy has continued to unfold throughout the week, everyone has been wondering what could possibly make someone kill six people and wound 19 others.

Throughout the week, the tragedy has developed in the media from a tragic act to a political finger-pointing of who-did-what. A lot has been made of Sarah Palin's crosshairs map and her negative rhetoric. If you haven't seen the map yet, it depicts crosshairs, or what appears to be a gun targets, placed on the districts of 20 U.S. representatives who voted for healthcare reform. Rep. Giffords is one of the "targets" on the list.

When the list originally was posted on Palin's Facebook page and websites, Rep. Giffords was quoted in an MSNBC interview saying that the map was dangerous because of its ambiguous and potentially violent message:

"I think it's important for all leaders, not just leaders of the Republican Party or the Democratic Party ... community leaders, figures in our community to say, 'Look, we can't stand for this.' I mean, this is a situation where people really need to realize that the rhetoric, and firing people up, and even things ... For example, we're on Sarah Palin's targeted list, but the thing is, the way she has it depicted has the crosshairs of a gunsight over our district. And when people do that, they've got to realize there's consequences to that actions."

I don't mean to pick on Palin specifically. I only use her as an example of my greater point because she is the most publicized illustration of my feelings toward the issue. (In fact, investigators say the Jared Lee Loughner had no political affiliation, and was not motivated by politicians to shoot Rep. Giffords. Rather, he suffered from severe mental illness.)

I chose this example to demonstrate that the high levels of negativity between the left and right in our government have not produced a single result. The bickering and finger pointing have only led to arguments and immaturity, not change. Since the election of 2008, our country has reached a low point, not only with politicians but with citizens as well, in how we compose ourselves.

The United States is facing a difficult time, with the worst economy since the Great Depression and incredibly high unemployment rates. We are involved in two wars that cannot be won, and witness constant new threats of terrorism. We need our leadership — of both parties — to lead, and show by example that this current state is only temporary.

I remember watching the 2008 election, and most recently the 2010 elections, and thinking how depressing it was to witness. There was name calling, and finger-pointing. I was happy that last year I hadn't switched my voter registration yet because I didn't feel inclined to vote for any of these people. I felt embarrassed by the way our "leaders" were conducting themselves, and I wondered what the rest of the world thought us as Americans.

Nothing is going to change until both sides take responsibility for their short-comings, their mistakes, and most importantly, their constant negativity. By spreading messages of hate and violence, we are only going to experience hate and violence. Politicians are supposed to be the voice of the people, but I don't think any of them represent my voice. However, there are certainly people out there who will interpret the voices of hate to be theirs. This honestly frightens me.

I like to believe that with every tragedy there is some light that shines through. Although I haven't seen it yet, I really hope that the shooting in Tucson brings a call to action to stop using such negative energy to invoke reactions and party loyalty. Nothing is accomplished this way. The United States needs to show that this isn't the country we have been in the past, and this isn't the country we will be in the future.

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It's Not Easy Being Green

I read this article by David Pogue on the New York Times web site today. He discusses the "Two-Year Itch," which is the need for Americans to replace small wireless gadgets (i.e. cell phones, digital music player, digital cameras) every two years, only to throw them in the trash. He specifically targets cell phones, and the offers by major corporations to upgrade to bigger and better things after customers' two year contracts expire.

I felt bad while reading this because I know I am guilty of buying new electronics while my last ones still work fine. My last phone worked good enough, but I needed to have an iPhone just to, well, have an iPhone. With Apple and now Google coming out with newer versions of the iPhone and the Android every few months at best, it's hard not to want a better phone.

I don't think the idea that electronics are made to break would surprise anyone. How many cell phones and computers have you had in the last two years? What did you do with it when it broke down? Major corporations make products with the intent of having the product break down within a certain time period. It's more difficult and expensive to replace parts, or try to repair a product, than it is to just buy a newer working model.

But we cannot blame big industries entirely. Our personal wants only hurt the environment. So many do not recycle their old electronics for reuse or resale. We upgrade our cell phones when the older model still works, enforcing the ideals of big corporations to produce, produce, produce. Without taking a stand, we say it's OK to make borderline working electronics. And of course, we don't recycle.

Here's a few facts about the effects our electronics have on the environment:

• Each year in the United States alone, 3 million tons of e-waste (cell phones, TVs, DVD players, computers, etc...) are thrown away.
• Improperly handled and poorly made electronics contain PCBs, cadmium, mercury and lead, which are released into the environment. These chemicals are proven to cause cancer, nervous system damage, cell damage and renal failure.
• In the United States, an estimated 70% of heavy metals in landfills come from e-waste. The EPA estimates that only 15-20% of e-waste is recycled.

There's always room for improvement -- for everyone -- to become more environmentally conscious. I try, but I can always try harder. I hope most people feel that way.

One of my professors in college once played a video called The Story of Stuff. I highly recommend watching to see what happens when we throw out those unwanted items that clutter our lives. There is also a newer (and shorter) version specifically about electronics. It's only between 5-10 minutes long, so please watch! And then go recycle something.

The Story of Electronics



The Story of Stuff



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11 in 11, Part 2

In November, I posted about a project that two of my friends and I would be working on throughout the next year -- 11 things we each want to accomplish in 2011. I loved this idea because instead of focusing on one ridiculous resolution, which I would inevitably break, this gives me the opportunity to try a bunch of different things that aren't necessarily life-changers. They're just goals to fulfill throughout the year.

As 2010 comes to a close, I have to say it has overall been a great year. Throughout the course of the year I moved to DC, found a full-time job, got accepted into grad school, went zip-lining, ran a marathon (and two half marathons), went to a huge family reunion, went to quite a few happy hours with my mom, and met a lot of really great people. Among those are some small daily items that have made me happy, and some really huge life-altering goals that I have met.

Last year around my birthday (which happens to be pretty close to the end of the year) I decided to make a goal and do something that I never thought I would do based on the fact that I didn't believe I could. I wanted to push myself outside of my comfort zone. I ended up choosing to run a marathon. This time last year, I had only run two 5Ks, and now it feels great to have two half marathons, a full marathon, and hundreds of training miles behind me. I also picked up a hobby that I happen to love. There will definitely be a lot of long distance runs in my future, that's for sure.

Given that I had a pretty big year, I did again want to choose one thing, as part of the 11 items, that I never thought I would do. However, I did find it a bit challenging to develop a list of 11 different things to do in 2011. But, I am pretty excited about my list. I think I have a good mix of serious things, fun things, and experiences that will stay with me forever.

Before I unveil my list, my friends and I put together some rules for completing our items throughout the year:

1. The honestly policy rules all. Some of these things are personal, and only we will know if we achieve them and when we achieve them.
2.We can substitute items up until January 1. Although, I highly doubt I will make any changes to my list.
3. For each item on our list that we do not accomplish by December 31, 2011, we must buy a drink of her choice for the other two. Obviously this could get pretty expensive pretty fast, so none of us want to get caught with two or three items we did not complete.
4. Each item must depend on us accomplishing it, not an external source.
5. We will check in with each other quarterly in order to be sure that we are still progressing with our list. Of course wine will always be involved.
6. Every accomplishment will be posted in our blog (so you also know we achieved it) and to track our progressing.

So without anymore delay, here are my 11 things that I will do in 2011. (These are in no particular order.)

1. Run Marine Corps Marathon. The Marine Corps Marathon is the big DC marathon, and it's supposed to be one of the best. Runner's World says that MCM has a reputation as the "People's Marathon" because of its goal to just have a good time. The race has over 30 bands playing throughout the course, and 100,000 spectators to cheer runners on. As the 4th largest marathon in the United States, MCM is going to be an amazing experience.
2. Travel through Europe. This is another item I cannot wait for. This summer, I plan to travel throughout Rome, Paris, Barcelona and possibly London. I went to Ireland once when I was 17, but this will surely be a different experience. I'm so lucky to have on of my college roommates, and one of the most fun and awesome people I know, joining me on this trip.
3. Maintain a minimum 3.7 GPA in graduate school. In five weeks I will be starting my Master's degree in history. I am so excited to finally be moving toward my career goal of becoming a college professor. This is going to be a ton of work, but I know I can do it.
4. Read the 100 greatest novels ever written. Ok, I know this is a multi-year project. This would mean I'd have to read a new book every three days, which is impossible when considering grad school and work. (I do have a head start -- I think I've read about 10 of them.) But I will be starting this goal, and only reading novels from this list published by TIME magazine. If you're interested in what is on the list, you can find it here.
5. Begin writing my own novel. I love to write, and I've always wanted to write a book. I plan to at least start writing, since again, this potentially could be a multi-year project.
6. Make a time capsule, hide it, and find it again in 25 years. In 2011, I will be turning 25-years-old, so naturally in 2036 I will be turning 50. I think when I'm 50 it will be interesting to revisit my 25-year-old self again. I guarantee this list will be in there. Hopefully it will give me some laughs.
7. Learn to play tennis and kick ass in a tournament. First, I want to thank one of my friends who agreed to give me lessons. I definitely have a competitive edge, and I think I'd be a pretty intense tennis player once I actually gain some skills. I played when I was younger, but it's been a long time since I've picked up a racquet.
8. Learn to paint. I always wanted to take art lessons and learn how to paint. I think oil paintings are so beautiful and so original. I plan to learn through lots of online studying and YouTube videos. And who knows, maybe if they're good enough I can start a side business!
9. Sit in a park in DC for an entire Saturday and just enjoy doing nothing. Every weekend since I moved here I've wanted to just sit and read in Georgetown, but it just never happened. So in 2011 I am determined to pick a day and just relax and enjoy my surroundings. Maybe I'll even do it twice.
10. Be more dedicated to my blog. Lucky you! I have a tendency to become lazy and slack on updating my blog. I promise to post at least once per week, and I will aim to post twice weekly. There will be a lot to read in 2011.
11. Go skydiving. Last, but certainly not least. I'm not afraid of very many things, but if there is one things that absolutely terrifies me it is heights. I hate roller coasters, high buildings, balconies, stadiums -- you name it. As I mentioned earlier, I started a tradition of doing one action every year I never thought I would do. This is certainly it. Now is as good of a time as ever to overcome my fears.
Honorable mention: Go to Panama. My brothers Sean and Brendan will both be living in Panama next year as they continue to work toward building the Solace Group. I want to visit my brothers so badly next year because I know it would be so much fun and so great to see them. The only reason this did not make the list is because I do not know if I can afford it next year. However, it is not out of the question, and I certainly would love to add it on.

So there you have it. The 11 things I am going to do in 2011. Please feel free to comment on my list and let me know what you think. Maybe you will consider making an 11 in '11 list of your own!

On a side note, DayOneAndAHalf is now on Twitter. Follow me for the latest updates on my blog and for links and other things related to my post. I'll love you forever if you do!

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